If hindsight is 20/20, then my previously questionable vision should now be perfect.  I set out for my weekend 12-miler (better late than never) with all of my training gadgets in tow, and a flawless running plan in my back key pocket.  I was determined to make up for the last few weeks of crappy long runs by focusing on my pace and staying on top of my fuel and hydration.

I took the first miles in stride, settling in relatively easily after several consecutive rest days.  Many different thoughts flashed through my mind including, but not limited to, what I would write about today.  Maybe I was too distracted by this internal deliberation or perhaps my plodding gait has been reduced to a fatigued scuffle in the past 17 weeks.  I’m not sure precisely what happened, and since there were not any witnesses, I can only guess.

Just before mile 6, I unzipped my water bottle pocket in order to access the packet of GU inside.  Somehow in the time it took for me to bring the stuff to my lips, I tripped and skidded across the pavement and in to the bike lane of a curvy road.  My left ankle turned in, because of the drainage slant, while in a reflexive attempt to break my fall, my right knee and palm bore the brunt of the collapse.  I was a cartoon character sprawled across the asphalt with little birds and stars circling my head.  I didn’t actually smack my noggin, but sure got the wind knocked out of me when my stomach hit the floor.  After what I think was several minutes, I slowly sat up to assess the damage- blood dripping down my right leg and arm, and lots of little rocks and gravel clinging to the mess.  I stayed that way a little longer, trying to make sense of what had happened.  A cyclist whizzed by (on the same side of the road) and barely glanced in my direction.  A female runner plodded by and refused to make eye contact with me.  A Fed Ex truck sped towards me, dangerously close to the bike lane, and continued on its way.  “WTH?!”  I thought as I struggled to climb to my feet.  I’ve never been the kind of girl who has relied on the kindness of strangers, but REALLY?  I suppose there’s a chance all 3 of these “humanitarians” assumed I was a hobo with $150 running shoes, purple sunglasses and pink training paraphernalia strewn all around her, out for a drug deal along the backroads of Marin County- and didn’t want to get involved.  And with this thought, the reality of my predicament came crashing in on me and I imploded.  The old VJB, (the one who doesn’t have to run a marathon in less than 2 weeks and whose ego hasn’t been systematically destroyed by several terrible long runs) would have picked her self up, rubbed some spit in her road rash, ignored her throbbing ankle, and headed home.  But yours truly  totally freaked out and blubbering, called CMB to rescue her.

Some minutes later he arrived, my knight in the shining silver Jeep (my man keeps a clean car) and scraped me up off the ground.  CMB cleaned and dressed my weeping wounds with the attention and care of an endlessly patient husband turned healer.  I cried and cried, not only because I was in pain, but also since (although I haven’t had any formal training) I really have a flair for drama.

“What do you think this means?!” I wailed.  “I feel like my body is trying to tell me something!” I sniffed.

“I think it just means you shouldn’t open GU while you’re running.  You should stop and walk first.” CMB gently asserted as he swept back some stray strands of hair from my tear-plastered face.

Even I, Queen of the Over-Reactors, had to stop my boo-hooing  and consider this pragmatic approach.  Maybe the solution to my self-induced marathon madness is actually this simple.  Perhaps this should be my new mantra.  I can see it now.  Mile 21.  I’m ready to barf, cry and collapse- all at the same time.  Stop and walk before you open your GU, stop and walk before you open your GU, stop and walk before you open your GU… OR I could simply shout out HINDSIGHT! HINDSIGHT! HINDSIGHT! if I begin to find myself short of breath.  Hmmmmm….  Such a level-headed incantation may not earn me a PR, but could help me finish this race in one piece.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.  VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.