It’s been a really long time, weeks and weeks, since I’ve thought of running as fun.  I read back through my posts to pinpoint when the last time I regarded running as the source of joy which made me want to train for this marathon.  Feeling lighthearted and happy during a run is not the same as being pleased with my pace or proud of my ability to push through discomfort.  Enjoying a run at this basic level is more than a feeling, but also a state of mind.  As is evident from my posts, my brain has been very busy and not always so kind to my body.  So in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure I put on myself (because hell- if I’m not physically ready for this race now, nothing I can do in the next 18 days will prepare me) and to get back that loving feeling, I left all of my gadgets at home during my 5-miler.  Yes, it’s true.  My Garmin, iPod, iPhone and Yurbuds remained on the kitchen counter where I left them when I was possessed by this brilliant idea.  But it was kind of like pulling off a bandaid.  Once I made the decision to head out without all of my crap, I had to act quickly and slam the door behind me before I changed my mind.  

I know this 5-mile route like I know where in my closet to reach for a certain shirt- sleeveless hang first by lightest to darkest color; then short-sleeve, 3/4 length sleeves, long sleeves; all following the same color pattern.  I know where I can sprint, where I need to slow in anticipation of an incline, and where I turn around to head home.  But today my run along this route of familiarity was different.  I listened to my feet crunching in the gravel, my breath sputtering and finally becoming even, and to my body not my mind (or my Garmin).  Although it was far from perfection, I’m definitely a few steps closer to falling back in love.