When my alarm sounded at 5:30am, I woke determined not to make the same fueling mistakes as last weekend.  I can’t say that I was exactly fired up to run 20 miles, but I was looking forward to finishing my longest training run- strong.

I returned to the breakfast which has worked for me in the recent past.  Once I was done with my whole wheat english muffin with one egg, 1/4 of an avocado and spinach and a cup of coffee, I reached for the same fuel (Skratch and peanut butter GU) as I physically organized for the trek ahead.  Emotionally I was feeling ready- a little nervous, but prepared.  I knew 3 of my running buddies would be meeting me at the starting point, 1 of whom also planned to log the entire 20 miles.  After running 19 miles alone, I was more than ecstatic for their company and camaraderie.

No one was particularly happy when I asked to snap a photo before we got going, but they all sucked it up because that’s what runners do.  (Thanks, gals!)

We took off full of fervor, a small yet mighty pack of women full of thoughts to share and energy to expend.  Knowing how susceptible to distraction via conversation I can be, I became our self-appointed pacer, dutifully calling out our MPH as  we trotted along.  When it came time  for GH and SC to turn back at mile 3, we paused for several minutes to see them off,

and continued on our 17-mile way.  KKD and I ran and ran and fueled and ran and stopped for water at mile 7.5 and ran and ran and fueled and ran and talked and were quiet and ran and ran until mile 14.  We stopped at Urban Escape Fitness for water and a bathroom break, and were greeted by B who had just finished up a Tough Mudder Team training.  What a relief to be met by a friend who not only offered us a temporary reprieve from the task at hand, but also many kudos for our hard work.  We stayed and chatted and refueled for about 10 minutes, ready to finish off the last 6 miles and be done.  We ran, much stiffer now, towards home and in to Heather and Ron Skoda out for a Saturday cycle.  Inspiration and support everywhere  we turned, but somehow my body was fatiguing at an alarming rate.  I ate half a GU and drank as I plodded along, and instantaneously felt the urge to empty the contents of my stomach along the side of the road.  I became quiet and focused on not vomiting, asking KKD to distract me with stories of the 15 marathons she had trained for and ran.  When my nose began to burn with ammonia, I knew I was screwed.  I had used all available carbohydrates and was beginning to burn muscle.  Half a GU remained but knew that taking it would likely have two unsavory outcomes-  1) I would surely stop running and 2) I would definitely puke.  I decided to leave the GU in my water bottle pouch, and target my remaining strength and will on keeping my feet moving.  It was painful and slow and awful and pathetic all at the same time.  KKD, wonderful friend that she is, kept looping back to check on me and calling out how much further we had to go.  Tears of frustration permeated my sweat crusted face as I hobbled across our finish.  I had nothing left.  How am I going to run 6.2 more miles, I defeatedly sobbed.

After we stretched and I wallowed in a little more self-pity, KKD picked me up, dusted me off and whisked me away for a latte.

It almost looks like I’m smiling.