In the past few days, several friends have contacted me out of concern.  My last couple of posts might have seemed worrisome, but I assure you I’m OK.  If it sounds like marathon training is burning me out, that’s simply because it is.  I’m very lucky to have such caring people in my life and the last thing I want to do is burden anyone with whining about something I’ve chosen to do.  But its inevitable at this point in the game, to tire of the same thing I used to love (running) and of all the personal sacrifices being a marathoner entails.  Even the prospect of today’s 5 mile run, a distance which I recently referred to as fun, made me grumpy.  But I sucked it up and covered the miles, one workout closer to the prize.

I swear that I’m not always this disgruntled.  I really do love running and racing.  Establishing and realizing goals, gaining physical and mental strength, working hard and learning from my successes/failures- all make me content, if not giddy.  Running is a constant in my world that exists purely for my own self-fulfillment.  While it definitely makes me a happier person (with the exception of Week 15 of marathon training) and more pleasant to be around- my love of running has nothing to do with me being a wife, a mother, or a professional volunteer.  But I train in order to be the best I can at these roles of great importance, which have nothing to do with running.

Training for half-marathons does not seem to have the same emotionally degenerating effect on me.  The preparation period for 13.1 miles is much shorter than that for 26.2, and I’ve raced enough halves to feel comfortable yet challenged by the distance.  Of course, there is always room for improvement, but the extra strength necessary to excel is also attainable through forms of exercise other than running.  Required running in a marathon training plan really cannot be replaced with anything else.  This is one fact which makes marathon training such a solitary endeavor, a truth that even well-intentioned running buddies can’t help me to escape.   But for whatever reasons at the time (once its been long enough for me to forget about burnout and other marathon maladies), I am sure I’ll decide that this is exactly what is missing from my life, and I’ll do it again.